Disappearing as a manipulation tactic

TW: self-serving behavior, rug sweeping, victim-blaming

I just disappeared for nearly a month, so…I thought a post about disappearing might be an appropriate re-entry.

I linger around a forum on Reddit where people talk about difficulties they have with family members. In the comments section of one post, a really interesting conversation happened about a different sort of disappearing act, which I offer as a companion to the post I wrote previously about how some abusers temporarily (and strategically) withdraw from relationships when things don’t go their way.

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The time I got people fired

TW: abusive manager, toxic work environment, mention of a rape case (no details of the assault given)

A few years ago, I got two people fired. Except I didn’t.

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An analysis of the victim mentality

TW: Systemic racism

I typically don’t give a lot of credence to Buzzfeed articles, but I read one recently from earlier in 2017 about Taylor Swift and how she’s built her career and capitalized on playing the victim.

A quick note: this entry talks about “victims” rather than victims. “Victims” are people who are never wrong but always wronged; it’s a persona that someone cultivates to avoid being held accountable for anything. Victims, on the other hand, have been truly wronged and deserve to be believed.

Sometimes, unfortunately, it’s hard to tell the difference. At least at first.

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